Heidi's Pen
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Musings
to hold it in to feign interest to play games to say yes when I mean no to say no when I want to say yes not to play to not adore my ex to let lack of a bathing suit keep me out of a body of water to… [Continue Reading]
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Musings
Of late, I’ve been in the throes of a crush and a throng of “what will he/they/you think” harpies has been talking in my ear at about the volume of an 11 on the Spinal Tap amp. A ticker tape of my thoughts yesterday might have looked something like this:… [Continue Reading]
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Musings
This morning, barely awake, I lay in bed noticing an area of my body I’d never really noticed so distinctly before. My entire back ribcage ached and my mind went to town busily doing what it does. What is THAT?! What? My back! All my back ribs. It hurts to… [Continue Reading]
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Minding my life
Sometimes I feel alone in the world. Like lately. To borrow Joni Mitchell’s words: “It’s coming on Christmas, they’re cutting down trees, they’re putting up reindeer and singing songs of joy and peace — I wish I had a river I could skate away on.” I just went to the… [Continue Reading]
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Dreams
Remembrance of Things Past (Proust) is long overdue. I’ve been holding onto it for too long and when I go to return it at the library my fine is $39. I don’t have the money with me to pay. I want them to wave the fee and tell me I… [Continue Reading]
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Minding my life
Happy freedom day. I’m on my way to North Carolina to visit my sister and her 3 kids with my mom… should be interesting, to say the least, the faces from which I will see myself reflected back to me. I’m looking forward to seeing my 2 nephews and my… [Continue Reading]
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Musings
You lose your grip and then you sink into the masterpiece… —Leonard Cohen in “A Thousand Kisses Deep” I used to give a whole lot of advice to God. I called it prayer. But it was more like a to do list or a Santa Claus wish list: please help… [Continue Reading]
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Musings
…listening to the blizzard wind howling and watching the white bag that’s been caught in a high branch in the tree right outside my window for going on two winters. It used to ruin my view, and I used to call it names like “trash.” But at some point along… [Continue Reading]
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